I finally got the call to schedule my second breast surgery. I have to say that I'm really scared and apprehensive about the surgery. I've read through the consent form and all the risks. Initially, I was anxious to finish the entire procedure. Leave everything behind me and go on with my life. The thought of the risks really frightens me. In the end, is it worth it? I pray that God will continue to be with me through the process.
The surgery is an in-and-out procedure and will take about 45 minutes to complete. Hopefully, there will not be any complications. I am confident in my doctor's skills. My fear is my own ability to recover from another surgery. All the medications have been submitted. It will also be another six weeks with no exercise, except for walking.
I am trying to remain positive and to be grateful for all things. Sometimes I think it's really hard to remain positive when there are many stressors in life. I think there will be a lot of stress on the day of the surgery. One, we have to be at the hospital two hours before the surgery. Two, the hospital is also under construction, and parking will be limited. Plus, I can't have anything to drink all day until after the surgery. Small sips of water throughout the day. Again, is it really worth it?
My mind is really racing today. What will the final outcome be? Will the surgery make things worse? I don't want to have to go through more surgeries trying to correct the first. God, what do I do? I've prayed about this and don't know what the answer is. Sometimes I wish it were an audible answer. How do I know for sure if it is the right thing to do?
I continue to trust God in the process. I know my hope is in Him. Continuing to walk this journey one day at a time, praying that one day I can put this behind me.
Scarlett
