The Storms of Life

I had my first consultation with the GI doctor today.  I love how efficient the staff is and the easy check-in procedure.  I didn't need to fill out endless pages of paperwork.  I wasn't quite sure what to expect from the visit.   I spoke with the doctor, explaining why I was there and the results of the genetic testing.  Since he didn't have a copy of the results, he said he would start with a colonoscopy. He told me the other tests were costly and wanted to wait until he reviewed the genetic testing. If the ATM gene were found in my genetic testing, I would need to have a colonoscopy once a year; otherwise, every 10 years. He said he would let me know about any other testing once he received the genetic test results. My colonoscopy has been scheduled, and I'm not looking forward to it.

Later in the afternoon, I received another call from the imaging facility to make an appointment, for what I did not know.  It is very frustrating talking with their appointment setters.  You can never understand what they are saying, and the background noise doesn't help. Also, having to repeat insurance information every time is crazy.  All of this information should be in their database.  Then they want to know why I was making the appointment, how I would know what it was for, and why it took half an hour to set it. After talking with the person on the phone, I figured the GI doctor got the results. The appointment was for an MRI of my abdomen.

I have also had my visit with the gynecologist/oncologist.  After speaking with her, she recommended having my ovaries removed.  There was no way to detect ovarian cancer in its early stages.  Even yearly monitoring would not help.  So my next decision is whether or not to have the ovaries removed, just as a precaution.

This week was very difficult emotionally.  I had a cold and was not feeling well. I'm not sure how long it will take to recover, since the loss of estrogen also lowers my immunity. I've also started taking some probiotics, which should help boost my immune system.  Thinking about having my ovaries removed and all the additional testing.  I just want my life back.

The best thing was going to bible study or just plain studying my bible.  There is so much encouragement and insight in reading and studying God's word.  I was so depressed about my outcome, but remembered Paul's words.  God said his grace was sufficient for me.  For my power is made perfect in weakness.  I'm just paraphrasing, of course.  I was also reminded of how faithful God is, even though sometimes he allows certain thing to happen.  We must look for the blessings in our circumstances and rejoice, pray and give thanks in everything.  One woman in my bible study, who is losing her eyesight put it this way.  How can I not have joy when God has given me so much. The blessings outweigh the circumstance.  I know sometimes I take people, God and life for granted. Sometimes it's hard to see the blessing through the circumstances of our lives.  Always look up to God praise him in the storm, pray for healing or guidance and be grateful for all things.  

Scarlett

Side Effect Blues

 

Today has been hard for me. I feel an overwhelming sadness to the point of just wanting to break down and cry. I've prayed and journaled about this feeling. I know I'm not alone on this journey.  God and my family are always with me.  I'm not sure if it's the medication or just life circumstances. Life has been very stressful lately.  My medication could also cause depression and mood swings. I don't like the thought of having to monitor my health for the rest of my life.  I have also had a lot of pain, not only in my breast but also in my leg. Which could also be a side effect of the medication.  I really don't want to have to change drugs and begin all over again. Most of all, I don't want to take another pill for depression.  After all, most medications have side effects, some more terrible than others. My other option is to not take the estrogen blocker and take the chance that the cancer will not recur. Continuing the path to healthy eating, exercise, prayer, and bible study. Which I would prefer. 

I am constantly learning something new about the medication I am taking.  Apparently, one side effect not on the list of side effects is stress urinary incontinence.  Lower estrogen can cause a weakening of the muscles and nerves that control the bladder, along with menopause and obesity.  Although not all women taking anastrozole are affected by stress urinary incontinence.  Fortunately, there are exercises you can do to help strengthen the muscles around the pelvic floor. Knowledge is key, and learning new ways to maintain it is important.

It has also occurred to me that our emotions can also have an effect on our overall health.  I remember hearing many years ago how stress can cause chronic diseases. I believe this to be true; anxiety, anger, unforgiveness, and many other emotions can lead to many health issues.  All of which can lead to depression, alcoholism, drug addiction, and many other vices.  All is a subject for another time.

The good news is I no longer need to go to physical therapy twice a week.  Only once a week for the next three weeks.  I'm ready for this to be finished.  I can do all these stretches at home.  The most important part was the message therapy to my breast to soften the breast tissue and get the blood circulating.  The message also helped with reducing the scar tissue.  It has also been interesting talking to the physical therapists.  I was curious as to why they chose breast reconstruction therapy; both therapist said their mothers had breast cancer.  One survived and the other passed away, but both young women wanted to help other women going through reconstructive surgery.

 I still have many appointments scheduled for the next few weeks.  I have to undergo a CT scan, a consultation with a GI specialist and a gynecologist/oncologist, as well as additional lab work. I also canceled my appointment with the genetic counselor.  My insurance company will not cover the consultation, so I need to explore alternative options.

I am grateful for God because God is good all the time.  No matter what life throws at me, I know God will use it for my good and the good of others.  To grow my faith, strengthen me, and lead me to be more like his son, Jesus. To spread the good news or just as a lesson in life. Stay focused on God always.

Scarlett

The Oncologist

 I must admit I am struggling emotionally today.  I spoke with my oncologist today, and he shared the results of my genomic testing with me.  Not only do I have the risk of colon cancer, but also pancreatic and ovarian cancer.  Can I ever get a break???  My cholesterol levels are elevated and, of course, my favorite fatty liver. I feel like my health is sliding out of control.  I have changed my diet and have been exercising, but nothing seems to be helping.  My eyesight is also deteriorating.  I just want to throw my hands in the air and give up.  I understand that some of the cancer results are just risks.  My oncologist has also referred me to a genomic counselor to review the test results to help me gain a better understanding of them. Another problem is that my insurance does not cover genetic counseling. Plus, the results of the bone density test.  Apparently, I also have osteopenia, low bone density.  This could lead to osteoporosis. In taking an estrogen blocker, my bone density will need to be monitored more often, and I need to be mindful that it is easier to break a bone. ( I guess playing any type of sport is out) Fortunately, this can be reversed, again through a combination of diet and exercise.  I am seeing a recurring theme here. I also have a referral to a gynecologist/oncologist to check my pelvis and ovaries.  Once again, I need to have those lovely pap smears (Ugh) and lab work to check my pancreas. All of this is quite overwhelming.  My husband is questioning all the testing.  Is it really necessary...

I had my visit with my breast reconstruction surgeon, and he said all restrictions have been lifted.  I can do all the things I did before the surgery.  This has been good news for me.  He also told me I would need to schedule another appointment in six weeks to discuss a second surgery. This surgery was intended to make any changes I wanted, such as adding nipples, removing any scarring, and making my breasts asymmetrical.

I have also begun taking the estrogen blocker Anastrozole.  I am just waiting to see what type of side effects it will have on me.  Hopefully, there should be none, as this medication can cause bone loss. I also need to go back to my original diet before the surgery. I feel as if I'm going down the same path that led me to the cancer. It is so much easier to consume food out of convenience than to prepare a healthier meal.  I need to remain focused on my health and spiritual life rather than what is easy.

Scarlett

A New Day New Challenges

 

I am totally amazed at how God has worked in my recovery.  I had my first visit with the oncologist since my surgery.  Great news!  They removed all the cancer, and there was no cancer found in my lymph nodes.  What a blessing!  Although there is a slight chance of the cancer returning.  I didn't have to go through chemotherapy or radiation treatments.  Even there, I was surprised.  My oncologist told me I needed a bone density test because he was going to prescribe an estrogen blocker.  We discussed the side effects and the purpose of taking them.  Apparently, my body is producing too much estrogen, which feeds my type of cancer.  To be on the safe side and prevent the cancer from recurring, he recommended I take the estrogen blocker for at least two years. Since I've never felt the effects of going through menopause, I can't say I know what to expect.  I never had the dreaded hot flashes, which are one of the side effects of the estrogen blocker.  Mood swings (hmmm), not too sure about those either.  The other concern was how the lack of estrogen would affect my bone density, leading to osteoporosis. I don't really want to take medications for that, plus my dentist recommended an alternative. Taking Vitamin D, which I prefer. I really hate prescription drugs!!  The side effects of those seem worse than the original problem.  Yes, I'm still looking for something more natural.

I talked to my oncologist about the genetic testing results I had received and the possibility of also getting colon cancer. The idea of getting colon cancer scares me. What can I do now to prevent this from occurring?  He wanted me to obtain a copy of the test results so he could review them. I'm uncertain if this recommendation will change after he reads the results from the genetic testing. Since there is a possibility of also getting colon cancer.  

In the meantime, I have begun my physical therapy.  I go to a facility twice a week on the other side of town.  I wish the facility were closer to my side of the city.  Physical therapy is going well.  The staff is very friendly and knowledgeable.  The different stretches appear to be working, and I am beginning to regain more mobility and flexibility.  I am still walking a mile every day and have decreased my walking time from thirty minutes to twenty-six.  I am hoping to return to my regular routine, which I had in place before my surgery.  

I continue to trust in God and believe that He knows what is best for me and my life.  God, you are so good, all the time.   Going through this process has given me a deeper understanding of self-care and the importance of a healthy diet and exercise.  Seeking God daily through prayer is, of course, the central focus of my day.  Leaning on God for healing, wisdom, and guidance.

Scarlett

The Second Opinion

 I had my appointment today for a second opinion on my cancer.  I spoke with an internalist and after looking at all my images came to the same conclusion.  Surgery is my only option if I want to survive.  My hope was for something other than surgery.  It appears I had false hope for a cure that was not as invasive as surgery.  This has really set me back emotionally and mentally.  I was looking for more of a holistic approach to curing this disease.  Not only did I find out surgery was my best and only option, I found out because of the genetic mutation I would also be prone to colon cancer.  Such devastating news for me. He also explained to me that if I went with the lumpectomy only, I would have too have a mammogram or MRI every six months.  He also confirmed for me that my surgeon was correct in how she was treating my cancer.

The question now is do I start all over again with all new testing and biopsies or continue with the original plan.  The outcome is ultimately the same.  If I want to survive, I need to proceed with the surgery.

I have really taken this news very hard.  It is so easy to fall into a deep depression.  This medical team has been very supportive.  They have suggested counseling and taking a deeper look at genetic testing to understand what it means.  So much is happening it is quite overwhelming.

This is taking an emotional toll on me.  I am glad my husband is so supportive and is really trying to understand what I feeling and experiencing.  It is a hard decision to make.  I know everyone going through cancer does not have the exact same experience or approach.  So it is hard to find people going through the same situation.  Why is it some people seem to get help faster than others?  Why does it seem as if others seem to connect more with each other?  I am thankful and grateful for a loving Father.

I am still looking toward my Father in heaven for healing and answers.  He has a purpose for my life and is not done with me yet.  So in the meantime, I will be patient and wait, listening for that still small voice.

Scarlett

Genetic Testing and a New Perspective

Today, I met with the oncologist and he sent me to see a breast cancer surgeon for a consultation.  Even there my outlook was hopeful, since they had detected the cancer in the early stage.  

So I made my appointment with the cancer surgeon. She discussed  what she saw on the images from the mammogram and biopsy and my options of surgery, the procedure and what she recommended.  I could either have a lumpectomy or mastectomy. She also mentioned doing genetic blood testing to see if there were any mutated genes in the family history, since my sister had been diagnosed with breast cancer in 2014. I thought this would be good to know, especially if it was going to affect my children and grandchildren.  I again was hoping and praying that the results would return negative. 

 After waiting for the results of the genetic testing. I got a call from my doctor.  She told me the genes had mutated and that I had a 20 to 30 percent chance of the cancer reoccurring.  She also mentioned that the risk of it reoccurring at my age was slim.  If I was younger, the risk would be greater. Even with the positive result of the genetic testing, it isn't 100% accurate. Now the big question is do I continue with the lumpectomy or mastectomy. 

Before I got the results of the genetic testing I was optimistic about my recovery and the final outcome.  Afterwards, I couldn't believe this was happening.  Why was this happening to me?   I didn't understand.  I finally felt I came to place of truly enjoying my life and retirement. I started volunteering at the food bank and working on my art.  I began to feel I had purpose.  I felt liberated from my past and felt free of my feelings of insecurity and low self-worth.  Why did this have to happen now?  My life was just beginning. Now I feel uncertain about everything in life.  My perspective has changed tremendously.  I believe God will also use this for his glory.  I am grateful for the hope I have in Jesus.  Either way this goes I will be okay.  God has my back.

It's important to remember that genetic testing is just a valuable tool to provide potential risk of cancer reoccurring and to look at other factors such as lifestyle and environmental conditions.

I have really felt God working in this entire process.  It was difficult to hear the results of the tests, but now I could let my family know of the potential risk of developing cancer and hopefully they could be a little more proactive in taking care of their own health. I can't lie it's a hard decision, but I'm trying to take things one step at a time.  Do I have other options?  Maybe???  After careful thought and prayer, my decision was to still continue with the lumpectomy.

Scarlett