The Second Opinion

 I had my appointment today for a second opinion on my cancer.  I spoke with an internalist and after looking at all my images came to the same conclusion.  Surgery is my only option if I want to survive.  My hope was for something other than surgery.  It appears I had false hope for a cure that was not as invasive as surgery.  This has really set me back emotionally and mentally.  I was looking for more of a holistic approach to curing this disease.  Not only did I find out surgery was my best and only option, I found out because of the genetic mutation I would also be prone to colon cancer.  Such devastating news for me. He also explained to me that if I went with the lumpectomy only, I would have too have a mammogram or MRI every six months.  He also confirmed for me that my surgeon was correct in how she was treating my cancer.

The question now is do I start all over again with all new testing and biopsies or continue with the original plan.  The outcome is ultimately the same.  If I want to survive, I need to proceed with the surgery.

I have really taken this news very hard.  It is so easy to fall into a deep depression.  This medical team has been very supportive.  They have suggested counseling and taking a deeper look at genetic testing to understand what it means.  So much is happening it is quite overwhelming.

This is taking an emotional toll on me.  I am glad my husband is so supportive and is really trying to understand what I feeling and experiencing.  It is a hard decision to make.  I know everyone going through cancer does not have the exact same experience or approach.  So it is hard to find people going through the same situation.  Why is it some people seem to get help faster than others?  Why does it seem as if others seem to connect more with each other?  I am thankful and grateful for a loving Father.

I am still looking toward my Father in heaven for healing and answers.  He has a purpose for my life and is not done with me yet.  So in the meantime, I will be patient and wait, listening for that still small voice.

Scarlett