It is hard to believe we have come to the end of another year. A year filled with fear, hope, love, anger, depression, disappointments, and challenges. I thank God every day for bringing me through these challenges. I am grateful for my family and friends who have prayed for me and have been there for me. I am also thankful for my pastor and my church family.
Finding out I had cancer in June and all the decisions we had to make. The fear I felt, and the many nights I cried, not knowing where this diagnosis was going to lead me. The ups and downs of life, as well as the uncertainty of the future. Even though I am cancer-free today, it does not mean that it will never return. I struggle with this fact, especially when I hear of someone else I know diagnosed with some form of cancer. I have been trying to learn as much as I can about this disease and how it can affect my family in the future. I have also tried fundraising for cancer research and helping cancer patients through the American Cancer Society. This only added to my frustration; it seemed as if no one was interested, or it just didn't matter. I still try to understand why I developed cancer in the first place and how my DNA mutated.
It's even been harder to maintain a change in lifestyle, diet, and exercise, especially during the holidays. I seemed to make it through Thanksgiving okay, but Christmas has been a little more challenging. All the snacks, parties, desserts, and foods are very tempting. Even when some of those gifts are given, or desserts are requested. I felt so disappointed when I found out I had gained four pounds. You begin eating desserts, and before you know it, you've eaten more than you realize. The stresses of everyday life have also been difficult. My son, his son, and his daughter have moved in with us temporarily. It has been a difficult transition, as our lifestyles are extremely different. I'm trying to refrain from all the junk food, fast food, and fried foods, which are what they consume. The convenience of fast food has led to a huge decline in my own health. My husband tells me to continue cooking as I did before, and if they eat, that's good; if they don't, that's okay too.
Although life is more stressful today than usual, I know I have nothing to fear, and it will not always be. God is with me every day. He is my firm foundation and my refuge. God is faithful through all generations, and I am extremely grateful for all these things.
Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, "
Although this year has had many challenges and fears, it has also had love, hope, and healing. Not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually. This year has helped me to realize I have friends who care and are praying for me. I have family who love me even when some days I feel alone and empty inside. We can not live life by our emotions because sometimes our emotions lie to us. We need to trust in God and learn to live by that fact more than emotion. I have hope for the coming year, no matters what happens God is with me always. This is truth, not my truth but God's truth and that's what matters most.
Scarlett
No comments:
Post a Comment